3 S O

Thursday, August 03, 2006

That one time at magic nails


I walked into magic nails on 41st to be greeted with a high pitched "hello you want manicure?" So far so normal. It's always a little weird for me during a mani/pedi service when the mini massage thing happens...I have some personal space issues & don't appreciate being touched by strangers. So I can grin & bear it usually. I don't want to offend a woman who is using her Vietnamese magic to make my hands and feet look pretty. So this particular lady is really going at it, I mean the lotion on my arms is excessive and the rubbing/pounding seems to take longer than usual and I'm start-ing-to-get-eddddgy.

So I subtly shift in my chair while trying to find something to do with my hands so she'll let my arms go free, hey cell phone, why do you RING at all the wrong times and never the right ones huh?? That's how uncomfortable it was...I'd resorted to taking it out on nearby electronics. Then she stands up and sneak attacks me from behind...she's starts rubbing my shoulders and really just beating the shiz out of my back. What the hell? I have never had anyone at a NAIL salon go full body massage crazy on me! Panic was setting in since it's impossible to stifle nervous laughter while recieving an unexpected smack rub. (It is...impossible) Then she says, " oh so sorry, too hard?" YES, yes TOO HARD for the love of french tips get off me! I don't exactly remember what I said...it's fuzzy since I mentally block out trauma as a coping mechanism.

The bizarre thing about it is...no one seemed to notice or mind. Is this some new thing? Free back rub/beat down with manicure purchase? Doesn't really matter since I'm too fearful to return, now does it.

Honey do you think KFC's still open?

I think I am going to write about something very deep right now, something emotional and heartfelt. A fatty fat list of stuff I hate? OK!

1. TRAFFIC
2. Creepers who leave flowers on my windshield
3. People who smoke around me, causing my hair to lose it's lovely white nectarine/coconut milk/Tahitian orchid smelling yum (yeah...I hate you!)
4. Lemon/chocolate cheesecake who dooooooeees that? Long story
5. Gorgeous guys who are dumb as rocks
6. Men
7. (Oh sorry that's just a phase)
8. Amanda Bynes (I'm sorry, I'm sorry she is so damn annoying...hate is much too strong of a word but she's stayin' on the list!)
9. KFC
10. The fur business and all it's shadyness
11. jello shots
12. Any form of sexual harassment/assault ... you swat my hiney? I make it SO not worth it
13. crows
14. James Blunt's songs/voice
15. people who get to a stop sign at the same moment as you, then wave BACK at you after you wave them to procede...I wish they would just GO. What's the point? That shows a complete lack of driving skills & there should be a cop at each intersection who's only duty is to revoke the licenses of those double-waving jerks.


I know there is a bigger better list than this......I guess I'm not sitting here dwelling on things I detest very often so I can't remember all my "ugh I hate that!" moments right now. Maybe I'll add more later. I'm kinda whiney like that.



p.s. To any James Blunt fans...I apologize. sort of.